Not quite here, not quite anywhere.

I’ve been absent, absent-minded, not quite here, out of sorts, not myself.  I’ve been a bit poorly, had some kind of bug, haven’t been sleeping well and, to make matters worse, because I lost my only pair of decent reading glasses, I’m wearing an old pair which are scratched, not the right prescription and giving me headaches.  The summer’s over, have you noticed?  The mornings are darker, I’m wearing more cardigans, I’m lighting the lamps in the house and drawing all the blinds earlier and earlier each evening.  Wait there while I go and find a jumper.  My legs feel cold.  I’m trying to rock that summer dress with added layers look and it really isn’t working.  Did I mention the lenses are scratched?  I can hardly make out what I’m typing.  I’ve just made myself a cream cheese bagel.  It’s deliciously warm and stodgy and comforting.


Of course, not being here means I’ve been there, somewhere else, not plugged in, wifi free, unconnected, unwired, untethered, at-large, on the hoof, somewhere quiet, pen in hand, notebooks piled in a friendly mess around me.

Not feeling dynamic, sitting around, noticing things, daydreaming, making notes, writing on drafts, re-drafting, printing out, writing again.  Reading.  Re-reading books and magazines from years ago.  I think something’s sinking in.  God, I drink a lot of tea.

Not quite here, out of sorts, not feeling sociable but getting some writing done.  Not bad at all, really.  Quite pleasant.  But odd.  Not like me or maybe the new me.

8 thoughts on “Not quite here, not quite anywhere.”

  1. I have to say, that sounds a wonderful state of being, Josephine. And in some ways akin to how I imagine my days panning out, around three years from now 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jayne, I can only wish you better glasses! You have made me see how self-indulgent this post is but I suppose I am allowed this on my own blog! I must admit, being out of sorts, I’ve been grateful for not having to put on a brave face for the workplace. Anyway, as always, thanks for reading and I hope your new school year has got off to good start 🙂 x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Not self-indulgent, just rather lovely, Josephine. It’s my grand countdown to retirement that’s self-indulgent – only two more autumn term start backs… 🙂 x

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Josephine – while you are not here nor there : ) I want to tell you about a new mooc poetry course online, from the University of Pennsylvania, in case you didn’t know about it: ‘Modern and American Contemporary Poetry’ syllabus at the following address: Exciting stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 🙂 Thanks so much for thinking of me, Lesley! Yes, I’ve signed up again to ModPo (I last did it three years ago!) and I was reading and watching the filmed seminars yesterday. I haven’t got on to Walt, yet, still thinking about Emily. I may well blog about this soon. Thanks, again, for your kindness! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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